| Your Say |
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This section exists for those who aren't a part of the Christian community to say what's on their mind. You may find stories of struggles with Christians; you may hear about stories of forgiveness and reconciliation; you might even find positive feedback about this site. If you're interested in contributing, please submit your story here. Your Stories Wow. I came to this website with apprehension. Is this a trick? Am I going to be insulted, threatened with damnation, made fun of? Told I have to believe, or else!? I started getting teary eyed around the fourth apology and was crying by the end. Your apologies are brave, and I forgive you. I apologize for all the times I feared you when you revealed yourself to be a Christian. I apologize for all the times I rejected your thoughts and opinions just because you are a Christian. I apologize for all the times my beliefs in universal unity wavered. I apologize for all the times my patience gave out. I think we have a lot more to offer one another and a lot more to gain from coming together then we have by staying separated and pulling apart. Hopefully one day we will all come together under the umbrella of love. --Jennifer I am not Christian. I am sorry that I rolled my eyes when I saw the name of this site. I am sorry that I judged every Christian on the planet to be the same. --Anonymous I am a "recovering" Catholic living in a mid-sized city in the Bible Belt. I'm also a published writer, and I make no bones about my atheism in my writing. My children are both beautiful, smart, funny, kind-hearted kids, but they have very few friends. My husband heard recently from the rumor-mill at work that some of the ladies on our block have said that they don't let their kids play with mine because we don't go to church. I don't mind so much that we don't get invitations to the neighborhood get-togethers. We'd rather stay home, anyway; we enjoy each others' company. But it upsets me greatly that my children are having a lonely childhood because my neighbors are intolerant of religious difference. It hardly seems Christ-like to punish them for our beliefs. --Wendy I read through the apologies on this site and unexpectedly started crying my eyes out. I was raised in the church and left a long time ago. There are too many stories to even begin to share here. It amazes me that something that is supposedly all about love and grace can cause so very much wrenching pain and damage. ...can't even begin to say... --Anonymous I have to say that I came here with doubts. But I can leave saying that this is a wonderful website. I used to be Christian, but have since left because of what I felt was intolerance, hatred, and the unwillingness to listen to others who were different in any way. I still feel that there are many Christians out there who are like this, but more and more everyday I meet many who aren't. I feel like they are also getting the crappy end of the stick because the intolerant Christians are shutting them out. But this is an apology website. I do apologize for hating Christians when I was younger. I can't hate an entire group for the failings of a few. I do apologize for laughing at Christians. It was just as bad as some laughing at me. I think with age comes maturity and I realize now that I can't hate people at all. I can dislike, that's something you can't help, but I can no longer hate people. I wish that people of any religion could understand that. It's ok to disagree, but hatred just pulls everyone down. --Lex I am glad to see so many people who can recognise how Christians sometimes portray themselves to those who are not Christian. I believe those that seek to walk in the footsteps of Christ, do not seek anything more than to improve themselves and to demonstrate by example. I am not a Christian, but I walk in the footsteps of Christ daily. I seek to lead by example, and to encourage personal growth in others. The results of this are the same whether you are Christian, Buddist, Sikh, or indeed, as is the case with me, Pagan. Christianity is a language of good people, but it is only one of many languages that we speak as humans. --Peter I was raised a Christian. I had no bad experiences during the time I was one. I have no horror stories to tell, no sordid tales of abuse. All that happened was that, as I got older, I realized it just really wasn't my path. It's that simple. I guess another way to say it is simply that my mind understands Deity in a different way. I left the Church when I was 18 years old, though I had stopped being a Christian by the time I was about 11 or 12. Truly, for a large part of my childhood, I was agnostic: I believed in God, but I did not have a definition or a clear way to relate. I found my current path and converted when I was 19 years old. I self-dedicated when I was 21, and I have never looked back, been happier, nor been more at peace, spiritually, than I have been on my current path. My advice to Christians is to please beware of the extremists within your ranks, for if you look at them closely, they do not truly demonstrate Christ-like qualities. These people are wolves in sheep's clothing, and their ugly behavior is destroying your movement. I say these things, because even though the path was not my path, I respect its teachings. --Jennifer When I saw the url on a pagan board I had to see what Christians were confessing. Your site brought tears to my eyes. When I applied for my job I made a solemn vow to be 'out of the broom closet', as we say, if I was hired. I was. I don't talk about being a pagan unless someone asks and never try to convert anyone - but I have had such a hard time. I wish more Christians were as loving and tolerant as those on this board. I have always loved Jesus, and He's been a part of my pantheon from the beginning. It's encouraging to hear those who live as Christ wanted us to do. To be like him and love each other. Keep up the good work. It means a lot to the rest of us. --Jeannie Your banner says “Please help us to discover how we can do better.” Okay. This a wonderful start, and it’s just a start. Too often an apology is a cheap substitute for actually fixing the problem. Talk is cheap. As an atheist my moral principles come from inside myself rather than from outside, and I’m tough on myself when I screw up. I have to make amends rather than merely apologize. An amend is to repair what I broke, return what I took, heal what I injured. Not only does an amend make things right, it’s a lot of work and it keeps me from repeating the offense much better than just an apology. If you as a Christian apologize for something that other Christians have done, or your religion in general has done, what, if anything will be your personal amend? Will you work hard to get other Christians to stop those offenses, fearlessly getting in their faces? Will you petition your church to take a strong and active stand for eradicating the offensive practice? If your apology is about yourself but still is vague and general like “I’m sorry I have been a self-righteous jerk,” what will be your specific personal amend? Will you seek out the particular victims of your unkindness to make actual amends? Will you successfully avoid repeating similar behaviors in the future? Or will your apology soothe your conscience just enough so that you can resume your old habits? An apology is vibrating air. An amend is tangible action. You are what you do, not what you say. Congratulations on a good start. If you follow through with making real changes, your life, your principles and your religion will have real, solid meaning. --Richard Wade I love the idea of this. But I don't see it working. There was a confession booth on my campus, and they asked if we had anything we felt Christians had wronged us with. I told them I felt like I'd been kicked out of my church for being gay, at a time I was struggling with it, and two of them visibly recoiled. There is nobility to the intent of this. But seeing that recoil of disgust, like I'm a leper, that kicks hard enough I'm shut off to the message. Can Christians really confess these sins before they repent? Words are lovely and words are good, but they are only words, and an apology is always too little, too late. What's the point of confessing or apologizing as long as you go on, unchanging? I don't see the rhyme or reason. When I go to groups that work for social welfare--Invisible Children, runaways' shelters, whatever--it's never the Christians giving their heart and soul. I see secularists burning themselves out to save the world while the religious skip out with apologies and excuses and talk that they can't do it all, only God can really solve problems. Is there a point to all these words? Are they anything but a way to pretend you're changing? I don't see the apologies as anything more than words. When do I get treated as an equal? If Christians number so many in the world, when do they stand up and finally make a real difference? Why don't you ever do more than apologize and talk? This sounds like anger. It's not. It's anguish. You're bailing out the Titanic with a little tin bucket. --Phillip
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